(by Sabrina Ashley) The deepest darkest place that one can ever go to is in the confines of the abyss which lies in the human mind. Chambers, hardwiring and physiological being, the mind is the active lifestyle or the projection of powered living from the brain. And in my own process and my assistance with others in their journey of being free with me, I have learned and am learning the unspeakably difficult transition of healing and lifestyle change. Today, in honor of a dear friend of mine, and to shun my own shame… I’d like to address depression from the perspective of one who deals with it.
A chemical imbalance or environmental/atmospheric/behavioral condition, depression is a disease (dis-ease) that can literally bring a halt to the motion of life; there is no such thing as joy, hope, positivity or happiness, because the dysfunction in a healthy lifestyle is disabled. This is not going to be an elongated post on the many mood swings, and influxes in chemical balances or the skewed perception of life that comes as a result of depression. Rather, this is a post for those who are in the fight and damning struggle; who scream silently, and progress with paralysis; I understand.
I know the feeling of having this invisible veil shield your soul, which makes you feel as though you seem so small, and so invaluable to the whole of the human community. I know what it is like to have a mental breakdown and have an “episode”. The facade of social importance, recognition and inclusion has glazed my soul more than a time or two…I remember being in a place, but vacant all the same; me in my mind; playing in the drift. But what I also know is how important it is to value your life, and take responsibility. Not just the ownership of your actions, but the ownership of your personal spiritual, emotional, physical and mental health.
Whether your voice being lost is a result of a dismantled childhood and foundational years, or hereditary is the cause for your chemical imbalances. You can always reach out. And even if that means tugging at someone, emailing or texting one that you trust in lieu of vocalizing –because of shame or fear—your need to be found and be whole…do that. Whether seeking professional health, and following through with either medications (a personal choice) or counseling, DO THAT. Or maybe you feel you are not that “deep in,” okay. Find a friend. Have none? Stop a friendly stranger, ask for a hug. Be Real, because being real is what it takes to Be Free. Do Not be deceived, Beautiful Soul with the Beautiful Story, you matter. Your life is depending on you to pull through. And I am here to love you!
Be Free With Me?
-Sabrina <3 1.4.3